I just recently remembered this one, from back in my first year….
Tales from beyond the lab: Caught Pink Handed
Grad students rarely get very good results during the first year in grad school. But that doesn’t mean first years are “allowed” to have lives outside the lab. Not to say that we spent all our time in lab; we didn’t. We went to tailgates, football games, the occasional happy hour, you know, normal stuff. Normal, that is, unless you’re the lab director (a.k.a. research advisor, a.k.a. “boss”). Unless you have data to show, your ass belongs in lab – dems da rules. The last thing a first year wants to see outside of lab, if they don’t have much to show, is their boss.
One saturday afternoon, my friend C and I decided to do a little shopping. We hit up the Arboretum, an outdoor shopping mall up north. We walked out of Victorias Secret and saw C’s boss, Keith, sitting on a bench just outside the doors.
We were busted. Not only had we been caught outside of lab, but we were shopping! AND…not only was he C’s boss, but Keith was also the division coordinator, and both C and I were taking his course that fall.
Keith looked up, and he looked just as stunned to see us.
“Hi,” said C and I in unison, a and before we could offer up an excuse for being away from lab, we were cut off by a wide eyed Keith:
“I swear, I’m not a pervert, my wife is in there,” he said, nodding at Victoria’s Secret.
C and I didn’t know what say.
Keith then told us that his wife had dragged him underwear shopping with her, and he said he felt innappropriate about walking around the store and looking at underwear, and so he decided to sit outside. However, since the bench was directly in front of the shop doors, every person exiting the shop saw Keith sitting there, and probably assumed he was watching the female tradition that is underwear shopping at Victoria’s Secret, and…
“and they keep giving me these dirty looks, like I’m some kind of sicko!”
I think Keith was more embarrassed than we were. He had, in fact, been sitting with his hands folded in his lap and was staring at his feet when we saw him.
“uhh, ok, well, we wont tell anyone that we saw you here,” I said, and C and I scurried off.
