…my plans got hit by a proverbial Mack truck. (Not “THE” proverbial mack truck, mind you, I still have my honey by my side, thank jeebus for “small” favors)
Two days after settling on a date and confirming with my aunt and uncle whose house we were planning to be married at, I come to find out that my aunt has brain cancer and the prognosis is…well…it’s too early to tell. So that kind of threw a wrench into the gears. I’m still in denial of the whole thing. I’m so amazingly lucky that at age 29 I have never yet had to face a serious illness in the family like this. I’m at the “handling it like a 5-year-old stage” right now: I don’t want to think about it, don’t like it, this sucks and I DON’T LIKE IT, MOMMMMYYYY!!!!!!!
I think I’m going to go to temple for the first time in 10 years and get my jew on. I stopped going to temple after 9/11 because, when I went for the high holidays services and the Rabbi decided to lead a discussion about what 9/11 means for the jews, I couldn’t understand and didn’t care to understand how anyone could possible think to connect the atrocities to “my religion”. I haven’t set foot in a synagogue or gone to services since then.
I kind of want to go to high holidays this year. I can’t explain it in a “feeling religious” way. I don’t feel like talking to god – we reform jews don’t do much of that, anyways. No…this feels like more of a communal thing. It’s like I’ve danced around the fire with my people before, and now I feel the need to do it again. I want to say kaddish because I’ve said it before, I know how to, I’ve done it side by side with “my people” and I kind of feel like doing it again now. Admittedly, the sentiment feels strange to me. But I’m at a strange point in my life right now, so, m’eh. At the very least, high holidays services include quiet chanting in hebrew and it’s kind of a “zen” feeling. I could use that.
I’ll get married eventually. Maybe in a dress at some kind of ceremony. I’ll figure that out later.
Man, that sucks. I lost my uncle to colon cancer about two years ago; it’s never easy. Brain cancer is especially bad, though. Let me know if there’s anything at all I can do. I know there’s really nothing, but you never know.
Yeah, it sucks a big one. I only have two aunts, and while I don’t think I have a “favorite” aunt, this is the aunt I spent the most time with growing up (my mom’s sister). Because of certain family circumstances, me being the same age as my aunt’s daughter, for one, and our families living a few hours apart, I am really tight-knit with that part of my family.
Wedding planning just seems really imprudent right now. For one, we don’t have a lot of funds on hand, so it’s hard to look into alternative options for venues. I tried killing some time yesterday by looking at dresses before heading to the bus and I just couldn’t really get into it. Wedding dress shopping seems completely silly to me right now.
Thanks for the helpful sentiment, but unless you want to drop a big pile of $$ into my lap…
kidding.
I don’t know what we’re going to do. A lot depends on how quickly we get jobs, too.
I’m so sorry. Cancer sucks a big one.
I do own a wedding dress in something probably close to your size. And the fluffy thing that goes under it has been in weddings I haven’t even been invited to. Seriously, don’t buy the petticoat thing. You can borrow mine.
Thanks for the offer – I’ll let you know!
The good news is that we just found out she has a really good prognosis. But the bad news is that it’s going to involve a really intense regiment of chemo and radiation.
Oh, honey. I am so so so sorry …